THE GEORGE BUSH

2002-10-21T15:51:00.000-07:00

BUSH: "FUCK OSAMA, I WANT SADDAM!"

That's right, George Bush is, to all intents and purposes is temporarily calling off the "War on Terrorism" to focus his attentions on kiling Saddam Hussein. Well, killing isn't really the word (read:phrase). I guess it should be:

Make a feeble attempt to kill Saddam, but in the process, kill countless innocent Iraqi's, then, in the unlikely event of Saddam's hideout being breached, botch another attempt to bomb him out!

But why does he so desperately want the guy dead? Is it because he represents a hate figure with a penchant for killing, OR is it because he represents a threat to Daddy's lucrative ties with Saudi oli-barons, who might see their billions go down shit-creek if Saddam hikes the prices on Petroleum?

And if Dubya goes ahead and proves my predictions correct, won't he simply be turning terrorist himself, by sending countless millions of innocent Iraqi's to the big oil-drum in the sky?

Still, things have been a bit quiet on the old mass-execution front since his time in Texas, haven't they?

MICHAEL MOORE COMING TO ENGLAND

Michael Moore, now world famous for writing the multi-million selling political book, "Stupid White Men", is coming to England for his own theatre show, the first time he has done such a thing. The show runs from 9 November through 8 December, and takes place at The Round House in London.

Tickets are available HERE

And by the way, buy the book!

2002-10-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

BUSH ON SADDAM

find more at HERE

BUSH ON ECONOMY

This week, TheOnion.com published a story about George Bush's attempts to reconcile the U.S economy.

Read it Here

PROOF THAT SADDAM HUSSEIN POSES A THREAT TO THE “FREE WORLD”.

This is what the thief-in chief George Bush, and his monkey-boy Tony Blair lack. But who cares, since when does Dubya allow a little thing like international legislation stop him in his quest for WWIII?

Both Bush and Blair are now employing scare tactics to make people believe that Iraq IS indeed a significant threat to warrant instant nuclear-rebuffal.

It is almost as if Bush’s opinion is that every American president must have some kind of major part in mass-killing these days, just to shake things up a bit. Daddy had the Gulf, and Clinton tried his best in Israel etc, so Baby Bush is pissed.

And after 9/11, George’s so-called “war on terrorism” could soon come back to bite him in the ass. If he carries out his threat to bomb Iraq if Saddam doesn’t immediately admit to having nuclear arsenals somewhere up his arse. Of course, whether he has them or not, doesn’t matter.

For if the U.S do bomb Iraqi soils, victim of terrorism will turn purveyor of terrorism, and Bush will look like a hypocrite the calibre of many priests these days.

Oh well, only 2 more years before you can throw him out.

BECKHAM:FUNNY PIC

Yes, funny. Probably true too. Gotta say though, the usually poncey Gel-model had a blinder for England against Macedonia on Wednesday. Unfortunately the goalkeeper didn't.

(n.b: SEAMAN IS A BIGGER TIT- BECKHAM JUST LOOKS (AND SOUNDS) LIKE A PONCE.)

JEFF IN JAIL

It is a disgrace how liberally the disgraced MP and renowned author Jeffrey Archer has been treated in his “maximum-security” prison, from where he has been released after just 2 weeks.

Of course, everybody knows why he was in prison in the first place, found guilty of perjury and obstructing the course of justice, naturally. Ever since his swift incarceration, he has been moaning about how his trial has been unfair, how the prison is hell, ad nauseam.

He fails to realise that even in prison he is leading a privileged lifestyle, as he is allowed to visit friends within a 50-mile radius of the prison etc. He is given “pocket money” by the prison each week, and is served gourmet cuisine instead of the obligatory porridge.

And he still takes the piss out of his pleasured existence, violating prison code by going further than his 50-mile limit, to a Tory-colleagues luncheon party.
Of course, Jeff whinged his way back to a maximum-security prison, where he has stayed for two weeks, as I believe I said. So, for two whole weeks, the ickle baby couldn’t visit his friends in high places, and so he sulked. On top of that, just to show how pissed they were, the prison fined Archer 20 quid and prevented him from visiting the prison shop for a whole week!

No doubt the bastard is still sulking about in his pathetic memoirs as I write.

Queen Victoria will be turning in her grave. At least she had proper prisons.

Now, introducing the first part of "The GB"'s exclusive serialisation of Jif Archole's memoirs, entitled "My Time in Hell" (ie Prison)

“MY TIME IN HELL”- BY JIF ARCHOLE.

6:00; Roused by annoying bird outside my window, couldn’t get at it because my window appears to be covered in vertical bars. DOES THE HOME SECRETARY REALISE THIS GROSS INCOMPETENCE ON THE PART OF THE JUDUICIAL WINDOW-MAKERS.

6:10; Bird shut up. I duly fell asleep. Bloody right too.

9:00; Received letter from Home Secretary. It’s vile transcript read,

“Yes, you blithering ponce, prisons are supposed to have barred-windows. Just shut up and finish your bloody memoirs. No doubt they’ll be full of spelling mistakes, you whingeing bastard.”

WELL, this calls for a strongly worded letter to Points of View, my friends.

QUOTE (TYPO) OF THE WEEK

Whoever the fuck edited this muct have been stoned/drunk/ill/about to go home/very funny/dead. What I want to know is where do Private Eye , find these mindless quotes. The guy at the so-called "Gruaniad" or whatever should be sacked. Change the name of the paper first though lads.

2002-10-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

TOO STUPID TO BE PRESIDENT

ain't it the truth.

QUOTES

For years George W. Bush has got people thinking he is illiterate. Well here are some rather funny quotes proving he really is only a stupid redneck yokel.

“If affirmative action means what I just described, what I’m for, then I’m for it.”

“There is a lot of speculation and I guess there is going to continue to be a lot of speculation until the speculation ends.”

“For every fatal shooting in America, there is roughly three non-fatal shootings. And folk, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.”- (And he did-ED)

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

“In English, In French, or In Mexican.”

Ted Koppel: “So he’s your lightning Rod?
Bush “More than that, he’s my sounding rod.”

“They Misunderestimated me!”

So, as I sit here typing this out on WinME2000 whatever PC, I find that “misunderestimated” soon has that familiar red line under it meaning the word is nonsensical. Good ole’ Bushey!

(quotes from the Bush-ism's 2003 calendar).

BOMB IN BALI, AL QUEDA BLAMED (DUH)

At least 100 people are reported to be dead in a bomb blast at a tourist resort in Bali, Indonesia. As well as this ghastly figure, up to 300 are reported injured, many of them foreigners or tourists.

The bomb went off at about 12:30pm local time, when the local night-life was just getting into swing at the Kuta Beach region of the island. Eye-witnesses report that infact 2 explosions were heard, but the second went off in a rather less populated part of the region, and no-one was hurt.

The first blast was said to raise several buildings to the ground, destroying many cars and other vehicles, and it produced a fireball visible some 6 miles away.

Naturally, the strong Islamic presence in Indonesia has produced suspicion that attack was thought of and carried out by Al-Queda and other Islamic Jihad militant groups. In anew report, it has emerged that the American embassy warned Indonesian chiefs of the attacks and had been in the process of evacuating their representatives from the country.

Typical really.

(image (c) of The Sunday Times)

BLAIR CONDEMNS EDUCATION FUCK-UPS

Tony Blair has condemned the recent findings of a Government watchdog (the one that found "severe inconsistencies" in A-Level paper marking, thus resulting in 10,000 (1) papers being re-marked) as "shameful and disgusting".

And he should know, as it is a Labour Secretary of Education, Estelle Morris, who is being blamed for these grievous errors, resulting in the ruin of many a teenager's future life and career.

But Morris is described as a "close friend" of Blair, and as such has been spared the humiliation of the sack. That privilige instead fell to the chief secretary of the OCR Mraking Regulation Board, despite being cleared of all blame by a report into the fiasco.

To add insult to injury, Morris is now being criticised for admitting a pair of male students back into a Surrey school, despite their expulsion for sending repeated death-threats to a PE teacher. They were re-instated, despite the vehement protests of teachers and students alike. the teacher in question is still off work due to stress. Damn right too.

And why did Morris go against the School Board? To keep National Education Standards up, of course. Surely, her neck is on the block now?

Still, we don't go around shooting our fellow do we? Not yet, anyway.

EXCLUSIVE: BUSH KIDS WANT EUROPE!!

(adapted from TSTBP

As we all know, the Bush kids, Laura and Jenna, have repeatedly got daddy in shit by being photographed, or arrested, for being drunk and/or high underage. So here are some reasons why they like Europe better...

11. Promised Jenna if she finished the semester without getting busted, she'd get to spend the summer somewhere she was legal.

10. Lack of international travel and understanding was seen as a liability in Dubya's presidential campaign, Jenna determined not to make the same mistake.

9. Tip from same guy that sent Dubya out of Washington D.C. for 6 weeks at the end of last summer.

8. They find the anti-intellectual, xenophobic, jingoistic, conformist mood of the nation oppressive.

7. Want to use the "leaving to spend more time with family" excuse before it gets old.

6. Hoping to find an Aristotle Onasis type.

5. Daughter Barbara successfully feigned illness.

4. Arranging marriage with Rothschilds to consolidate power.

3. Even Chelsea Clinton's popularity in England continues to irritate Dubya.

2. American's don't read the European tabloids.

1. Barbara isn't preggers.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE GO HERE for more.

2002-10-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE?

again proving American's notoriously trigger happy political views, even by the common man: READ THIS.

According to the Pew Research Center, 66% of people in their new survey (probably violent Anti-Semitists) think Saddam was involved in 9/11.
86 percent think he has nuclear weapons.

But where is the evidence?

READ THIS.

(from the good people @ Reuters

2002-10-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

POLL-CATS

#1- ENGLAND ON PEACE IN IRAQ

re: WE'RE NOT FULL OF BLAIRS.

go here , and click on the poll to see Englands stance on George' Bush's bogus war on Iraq. Sort him out someone, he's gonna kill us all!

2002-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

HOW IT SHOULD BE

THE MOST PROFOUND USE OF SENSE DISCOVERED BY "THE GB" THIS WEEK
CURSOR.ORG

AND ANOTHER ONE

2002-10-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

BUSH: THE "PRESIDENT"

George Bush did NOT win the presidential election in 2000. he managed to fake his way to victory by permanently wiping 300,000 people off the voting registers in the state of Florida. Of course, you may think this would be impossible for even a swindler of Bush' talents, but not when it's "in the family".

Because Jeb Bush, Dubya's relative, is the governor of Florida. And we wangled it for him.

Many of these 300,000 people had never done anything wrong in their lives, and the government has NO REASON to block their constitutional right at all. Of course, nobody deserves to have their voting rights removed, in NINETY-NINE percent of cases.

Obviously necrophiliacs and mass-murderers are exceptions to this liberal stance.

So basically, the Americans who have a president who should have lost by a good 1/4 of a million voters. No wonder there country is up shit shit creek these days. Only this last two weeks we have been seeing reports of numerous snipings (up to 10 at the time of writing: with 8 deaths), with the killer still running un-checked.

Americans are now living in a country where the huge oil revenue generated by Bush and his daddie's ties with Saudi Arabia are fairly shared - between the richest 1% of the country.

90 PERCENT OF WHOM HELPED BUSH TO HIS "VICTORY" BY GIVING GENEROUSLY TO THE "LOSER" FUND.

Oh well, you've only got to put up with the bastard for another 2 years!!

And then again, it's YOUR fault. Who did you vote for ?

In hindsight: If you did vote for Bush, ARE HAPPY? WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?

2002-10-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

ENGLAND: WE'RE NOT FULL OF BLAIRS

this humble country has done what it's political leader has failed to do and NATIONALLY OPPOSED george bush. in fairly large numbers. in doing this we have done what i had thought impossible for a little while. we have shown Bush that WE do not condone senseless war.

AND... we know he is trying to scam us, and of course american's into thinking they are fighting the good fight.

2 weeks ago, 400,000 people crammed the streets of london, asking for a peaceful end to the troubles in iraq. but were they asking? or were they telling tony blair that he should grow a spine?

near enough as soon as Dubya took office, blair has busted his balls to ally with america, help america, agree with america on EVERY subject possible, and basically suck Bush's Texan ass. why? because he is terrified of breaking our long-standing ties with america and the american people, and he is scared of what Bush could do to him in the future if shows himself to be rebellious in any way.

his spinelessness and cowardice have caused to be seen as a national laughing-stock, and no doubt Dubya is laughing at us now.

lauhing at us because we havn't stopped his "We are America: Love Us" speeches to the UN.
laughing at us because we havn't stopped him admitting he is a dumbass in public
and most of all, STOPPED HIM DESTROYING US ALL BY ACTUALLY WANTING TO BEGIN WORLD WAR III

Tony Blair has the power to stand up to Bush, he's possibly the only man in the world who does ('cept missus Dubya). George Bush knows and trusts him, would take his opinion on board, and let's face it, the americans don't want no war.

also let's face it; Bush is a dumb-shit. i'm pretty sure a retarded glass of water could outwit him in some debate over foreign policy.

JUST WAIT FOR 2004!

YOU SHOULD HAVE LOST THE LAST ELECTION. YOU'LL DEFINITELY LOSE THIS ONE!!

2002-10-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

MINIMUM-WAGES

this is a problem both america and briatin suffer from, but (for once) the money problem is mainly america's problem. there was a time not to long ago, when the minimum wage in england was as low as £3.00 per hour (about $4.48), a fucking pittance in my opinion. i mean, no work can be easy enough or not taxing enough to be warranted with such a bastardly sum. people in the fucking victorian times could be earning that! maybe...

however, within the last two years the government has obviously had enough of the constant pelting of eggs and suchlike on this issue and as such the minimum-wage has increased steadily from £3.00, to £3.60, and now something like £4.20. still not much, buts its better than america...

despite being the richest country in the world (not the richest people in it though), the bitching George Bush Republican Government still find it acceptable to give people on the minimum wage a measly $5.50 ph. that's the sorta wages WE were offering up to 18 months ago. and BLAIR tries to screw us out of EVERYTHING (eg: tax-payers having to pay for Government-funded "experimental projects".)

...is that all they can spare? and where si this excessmoney that they AREN'T SPENDING on this national issue going?

answer: THE "WAR" EFFORT.

just consider that many people on minimum wage are those who have only recently come into the employment sector at all, be they school leavers, reformed prisoners, or whatever. these people should be encouraged to work, not be driven back to living off the state.

WHICH WE'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR ANYWAY!!

2002-10-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

HOW TO SAVE ON PETROL (GAS) USAGE #1

i'm sure everyone here knows how george bush and bush senior has important ties with saudi-arabians in their oil transactions. they fund his campaigns, he defends them when the time comes. but that doesn't explain the fact that the world is steadily being destroyed due to the use of fossil fuels in everyday life by some 4 billion-odd people.

but thankfully, they ARE running out. bad news is, altough all pollution will be greatly diminished, we will be fucked in how to carry out our everyday tasks.

so here is a rough guide on how to prevent this happening too quick, also helping the environment by economizing pollution etc.

1. HITCH-HIKING

PROS: it's free
you get to meet new and interesting people and have new and interesting conversations with them

CONS: .................but they could well be wanted men/women, making an appearance on "America's Most Wanted" fairly more likely than usual.